Should Managers Bring Their Whole Selves to Work?

According to Lisa Rosh, a management professor at the Sy Syms School of Business at Yeshiva University, leaders sharing personal information with their subordinates can build greater trust and stronger communication with their teams — if they get self-disclosure just right.

On an HBR On Leadership podcast, she said that leaders who are too comfortable talking about themselves — and others — at work may struggle to gain teams’ trust. Others reluctant to share anything come across as remote and inaccessible.

For “effective self-disclosure,” leaders, she said, “must be genuine,” noting how embellishing stories “to fit the situation” risks permanently eroding trust. Secondly, self-disclosure “must fit and further the task at hand.” Rosh elaborated, “That means it must include the timing, the substance, and the process. It must help the task. It cannot be for promoting oneself or fulfilling one’s need for approval.”

A global survey by Dayforce of over 8,700 employees taken last fall found that only 48% agreed their organization empathizes with employees. Among those who disagreed, 90% of them said that leaders exhibiting more empathy to employees would positively impact their work lives. This includes:

• Improving job satisfaction (52%)
• Improving job performance (39%)
• Improving mental health or levels of burnout (48%)

A Wall Street Journal article published last year noted that the pandemic made workers more comfortable talking about issues such as burnout and impostor syndrome. 

“A performance conversation can turn into a mental-health conversation at the drop of a hat,” Dane Jensen, CEO of leadership development firm Third Factor, told the WSJ. “Leaders can say, ‘That makes me uncomfortable.’ Tough. It’s going to happen, and you have to get used to it.”

Still, pushback has arrived against the trend, with some seeing those who regularly overshare personal details about their lives risking discrimination, potentially creating conflicts or jealousies with co-workers and reducing their ability to stay focused at work.

Cheryl Hanson, a district manager with human resources solutions provider Insperity, told Fox Business, “Oversharing at work can undermine professionalism, contribute to burnout and even make some employees feel uncomfortable.”

The WSJ article noted that those less established in their leadership roles face greater risks talking about emotional health with colleagues than those “who have proved themselves or achieved a measure of power.”

In a column for Fast Company, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, chief innovation officer at ManpowerGroup, wrote that the more a manager knows about someone’s private life, the more likely they’ll be biased either against or in favor of the individual, undermining team inclusivity. He also said that many co-workers are seeking separation between their work and home lives and are looking for managers to help them accomplish that goal.

“A great boss is neither your best friend nor your psychotherapist,” said Chamorro-Premuzic. “They are committed to getting the best out of their team, which requires a solid understanding of how you fit in, what functional and psychological role you play, and how to improve your performance.”